


we are alone, just you and me

by Alice_Prongs



Series: Jilytober 2018 [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, I hope it's cute, Rule 63, but there's a bit of not-intended angst, day 7 - gender bend, genderswap jamie and liam, insecure jamie potter, jilytober, oblivious kinda liam evans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 18:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16247228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Prongs/pseuds/Alice_Prongs
Summary: She sends him flirtatious winks when no one is looking, whispers teasing things in his ear until he blushes and comes up with every kind of excuse she can think of to get him alone. She enjoys his laughter in the kitchens in the middle of the night and their conversations under candlelight in their office and the way he smiles whenever he sees her. She pushes him against walls and desks and doors and snogs him like there's no tomorrow.She doesn't let herself think that maybe there really isn't.





	we are alone, just you and me

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, i'm back!! third installment for jilytober, this time a little late, but things in Brazil are pretty crazy and rough right now and getting inspiration has been a little hard. this was supposed to be really fluffy and full of kissing and it ended up with a little too much angst maybe, i don't know.
> 
> this is a response to the day 7 prompt of jilytober on tumblr - gender bend.  
> anyway, hope you guys like it!

Jamie Potter doesn't like hiding things from her best friends, so she tries her best to be honest with them about everything. Sometimes, though, it was necessary to keep some little things private. Even if those  _little things_  are actually pretty big.

Like the fact that for the past three weeks she's been secretly snogging Liam Evans in empty classrooms. 

Which, when she thinks about it, isn’t something she should be hiding from them, but the fact is: she’s not dating Liam Evans. She's just making out with him. Every day. Many times over. In a he’s not her boyfriend way – and the girls wouldn’t understand that.

(Especially Sirena, who would probably punch him in the face for thinking that he was fooling around with her best friend just for fun. Or she’d just punch him because she felt like it.) 

And the thing is, it’s not like it was Liam’s idea to hide it from everyone and not make anything more out of it. If it had been, she wouldn't have been so willing to go with it. Jamie did have a little sense of preservation, after all. They had both agreed that it would be better if, as Heads of Houses, they didn’t alert everyone – as in, Professor McGonagall or the Slytherins – to the new status of their relationship, and it just so happened that everyone included their friends, so Jamie hadn’t told them. 

(And then they had never actually ended up discussing the status of their relationship, which was fine with her. Completely fine.) 

Which doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel bad about it, because she does – she  _does_  – but it’s just better like this. This way, everything’s good, and there's no outside interference. This way it's easier. She can think only about the fact that she's finally kissed Liam Evans – multiple times, in fact – and that there are no issues between them. There's no need for her friends' opinions, for the sassy comments or the insufferable teasing.

She doesn't tell them, and it's not supposed to be a big deal.

Except it is.

It is because this is Liam Evans that she's talking about, and it just so happens that she's been slightly obsessed with him since their Fourth Year, and truly in love with him since their Sixth. It is because when she thinks about it, she can’t help the smile that takes over her lips, the redness that heats up her cheeks and the pure happiness that she feels throughout her entire body and she's getting a little obvious about it. It is because it still doesn’t feel real.

And she's fine with that as well. Kissing Liam Evans was never going to feel real, not after all this time, not with how she feels about him. Except that feeling is also accompanied by the impression that he's going to leave her sooner or later, is followed up by a stupid insecurity that takes over her, is side by side with the perception that this isn't going to last forever.

Which sucks, because Jamie wanted to be able to only enjoy the amazingness that is snogging Liam Evans in their Heads office, in a broom closet, in the empty Potions classroom and even in a hidden library section once. It's the greatest thing in the world, and it's what she's been waiting for forever, and she can't stop feeling foolish. She can't even tell her friends about it, because they don't know and it's been happening for so long that if she told them now, they'd definitely be angry about it.

So, Jamie sucks it up, because she's being stupid and she knows it, and takes advantage of it – no matter how much time she has left.

She sends him flirtatious winks when no one is looking, whispers teasing things in his ear until he blushes and comes up with every kind of excuse she can think of to get him alone. She pushes him against walls and desks and doors and snogs him like there's no tomorrow. She enjoys his laughter in the kitchens in the middle of the night and their conversations under candlelight in their office and the way he smiles whenever he sees her.

She doesn't let herself think that maybe there really isn't.

Jamie meets him for patrols, just like how it had begun back then, and Liam's eyes glow under the torchlight. She slips her hand in his surreptitiously and pulls him behind her with a mischievous giggle until they reach the corridor where he had first kissed her after some flirty banter. She looks around, he does too, and when they’re sure no one’s coming he presses his lips to hers with a smile that is so devilish she knows he’s learned it from her. And she’s never been happier, she’s never felt more at home as she does between his arms.

And then it happens. And then she can see him slipping away from between her fingers. And then she realizes she's had him right where she wanted him this whole time, and now she's about to lose him.

They're sitting under the willow tree on the school grounds. Jamie leaves the castle with Sirena and Remy and sees them. She sees his glowing red hair under the sun, her beautiful blonde hair floating down her back and she feels so inadequate, with her untameable and bland, brown hair, her ridiculous glasses and her too thick thighs. Liam has his back to the tree and Emmeline Vance has her hand on his biceps and is smiling at him like she's just won the Quidditch Cup. They're out in the open, in the way she’s never been with him, and it hurts more than she could have expected. 

She doesn't know why she even tried.

She stops short, and Sirena and Remy do too after a few steps, looking back at her with confusion. Sirena follows her line of sight, though, and sees it as well. Her face closes off immediately and if Jamie wasn't so completely numb at that moment, she'd probably be worried about what her best friend would do.

“Son of a bitch,” she hisses, and Jamie wants to run away.

Remy shakes her head, and looks at her. “Don't get yourself worked up over this, Jamie, I bet it's nothing.”

She doesn't answer. She can't. All she can see is Emmeline Vance throwing her head back in laughter like they're in a bloody rom-com and Liam's hand reaching for hers. And then Sirena yells out his name and he turns around and sees Jamie and his eyes are so green, even from a distance, and it's too much – she can't be there anymore.

Jamie turns her back on her worried friends, on Emmeline Vance's beautiful smile, on Liam Evans and the pang he causes in her heart, and walks back into the castle. 

Soon enough, she’s running and she doesn't look where she's going, she can only think about how stupid she's been. How she could have ever thought that this would work, that Liam Evans would actually want to be with  _her_. She doesn't stop running, not as she feels her eyes start to burn from the tears trying to escape, not when they start sliding down her face, not when she doesn't know if she's panting because of the effort of running or of crying.

She doesn't stop running until she hears her name being cried out in almost desperation.

“Jamie!” Liam's voice comes from behind her, and she wants to ignore him, wants to keep running, but she can't. She freezes, her hands coming up immediately to wipe away her tears, and turns around to find he's running towards her. His face and neck are almost as red as his hair, he's panting and his green eyes are wide. Emmeline Vance is nowhere to be seen, neither are Jamie's friends and she doesn't know what to do.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, cursing herself for her teary voice, for acting like a hysteric crying girl, for not being composed and beautiful and perfect for Liam Evans.

He frowns, stopping a few steps away from her. “What do you mean? I came after you.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you ran away and your friends were staring at me as if they wanted to kill me and I was worried.”

“Because Sirena looked like she wanted to kill you, then?” Jamie snaps and his eyebrows fly up.

“No,” he says, tentatively, taking one step forward. “Because you ran away so suddenly, and I didn't know what had happened.”

She can't hold back a snort. “Please, Liam, do continue with your blissful ignorance. It's incredibly entertaining.” She turns her face away from him.

“Hey,” he calls. “What's going on?”

She doesn't answer, crossing her arms. It hurts more than everything, standing so close to him, while he pretends nothing is wrong. While the only thing she can see is Liam and Emmeline Vance – perfect Emmeline Vance, with her long legs and elegant curves and blue eyes. He takes one step closer, his hand reaching for her. She tries escaping from him, but he doesn't let her, coming up to stand in front of her and grabbing both of her arms. He ducks his head to look at her and it only reminds her how tall and gracious Emmeline Vance is compared to her, who's so short and full of acne.

It reminds her how she always loved their height difference when they kissed.

“Jamie,” he says, “please talk to me.”

“Look, I don't need your pity, okay?” she huffs, and he gapes.

“What the bloody hell are you talking about, Potter?”

Hearing her last name from his lips after all this time is like he’s stretching the wound open. She tries not to let the hurt show on her face as she pushes him away again, refusing to answer him.

“Okay, stop,” he insists, and she looks at him. His eyes search her face and she can't understand why he's doing this to her.

“Just go back to Vance, Liam,” she whispers, tired. “With her clean skin and long legs and shiny hair”

He gapes again, then lets out a startled laugh. “What?”

She groans, not able to withstand his denial, and disentangles herself from him. She takes a few steps backwards, away from him, and it's like she can breathe again. “Look, it's not like I ever thought this would go much further than it has, anyway. So, it's fine. No harm done,” she lets out, a heavy feeling on her chest. “Leave me alone with the gigantic pimple on my nose.”

Suddenly,  _he_  looks hurt. “Jamie, will you just stop and listen to me?” he exclaims, shaking his head. “First of all, nothing is happening between me and Emmeline. We were actually talking about you, but whatever.” She raises her eyebrows at his words, speechless. “Second of all, you’re beautiful and hot and amazing and bloody hell, do you even know what you do to me?” his voice breaks at this as he looks up and down her body. She feels herself blush. “Third of all,” at this he lowers his eyes and his cheeks are red again, “why wouldn't this go further than it has?”

He gestures between them, looking at her from beneath his lashes and she doesn't know what to answer.

“Because it's  _you_ ,” she says, and knows it's true. “How could you ever want to be with  _me_?”

He tilts his head, confused and weirdly like a puppy – which is not something she'd ever thought she'd say about Liam Evans, but that does things to her stomach. “Haven't the past few weeks been proof enough that I want to be with you?” he asks, and Jamie stares at him. 

 _What_.

“You never mentioned anything about dating or whatever. And we've been hiding it from everyone,” she says, shaking her head and trying to rearrange her thoughts.

“Yeah, because I thought that's what  _you_ wanted.” He shrugs, a half grin taking over his lips. “Besides, hiding from people was fun, wasn't it?”

A stupidly fond smile also stretches over her own lips.

“Yeah,” she agrees.

He approaches her, grabbing her hands and pulling her closer to him. He leans down and rests his forehead against hers. Jamie can't help but close her eyes.

“So you don’t mind the gigantic pimple on my nose? It already has its own personality.”

“I really like you, Jamie Potter, pimples and all,” he says, and it's not a love declaration, but it's close enough. “And I _really_ want to date you, if you'll take me.”

She giggles – thank Merlin that Sirena isn't around to hear it – and pushes herself up onto her tiptoes to press her lips against his. His arms envelop her waist seconds after and soon they're back to what they're used to. She has him against the wall and one of his hands has sunk into her messy hair and Jamie can't think about anything – or anyone – else.

Then she hears a high-pitched scream and they split apart, startled, to find a gaping Sirena Black accompanied by a grinning Remy Lupin and a wide-eyed Petra.

“You owe me ten galleons, Sirena,” Remy says, and Jamie can feel herself start to blush.

“I cannot believe this is happening!” Sirena yells, throwing her hands up into the air.

Jamie is about to tell them the truth, but then Liam slips his hand in hers and she glances at him. He's smiling so wide it's like his cheeks are splitting apart. She's pretty sure her face mirrors his.

He leans in to give her a peck and Sirena yells again.

At least she won’t have to keep it a secret from them anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys liked it! comments and kudos are appreciated! come cry with me over jily on [tumblr](https://notdeadjily.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
